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The Truth About Dating American Girls from a Brit “If dating a usa girl bumbling buffoon like Hugh Grant can steal Julia Roberts’ heart in Notting Hill, anything was possible. As a young, single British guy crossing the Atlantic for a career in the United States, I was extremely curious about the dating life that was in store. After all, I’d watched my fellow countrymen in film and literature charm the hell out of beautiful American women. If a bumbling buffoon like Hugh Grant could steal Julia Roberts’ heart in Notting Hill, anything was possible.

It was the summer of 2006 when I first landed in New York as a 19-year-old, laden with warnings about American girls: they’re high maintenance, my friends told me. I tried to brush this off—preconceptions are always dangerous when entering any sort of relationship. Still, when I met my first girlfriend in 2007, a ballerina who had recently moved from San Francisco, I was immediately taken aback by an overarching obsession with status and money. But surely not all American girls thought British men had an endless supply of money? They weren’t all obsessed with fame and fortune, were they?

Was American culture really as shallow as my friends had warned? I landed in New York laden with warnings about American girls: they’re high maintenance, my friends told me. Six months later, I met the girl of my dreams. She was a down-to-earth Midwesterner with ambitions in New York City theater. She shattered any preconceived notion I had about both actors and American women. Sadly, when we were suddenly thrust into a long distance relationship, the reality set in that it was putting too much stress on our careers.

Since then, I’ve spent six years dating American women in the search for “the one”. I can tell you, it’s that the stereotype of British girls being more well-mannered is actually false. Recently, I went on two dates in New York within the space of a week, one with a Brit, the other with an American. The Brit eerily reminded me of myself—she ate quickly, washed her food down with beer, and generally wasn’t too concerned about how she might look to the outside world, let alone me. The American, with seemingly impeccable etiquette, ate slowly and cautiously, ensuring the kale salad she was munching on didn’t wrap around her big, pearly white teeth.

On the contrary, British girls have no shame picking kale salad out of their teeth on a date. It just took me a while to realize that this might have nothing to do with etiquette at all, but rather, it might be because American women are more anxious than British women. They worry more about their appearance, political correctness and how others perceive them. Money and salary is brought up frequently, and name dropping is prevalent in a good portion of conversations, especially in Los Angeles where status is paramount. British girls, meanwhile, do not spend the same amount of money on themselves as American girls, nor do they expect you to spend a lot on them. American women worry more about their appearance, political correctness and how others perceive them. In Britain, we are self-deprecating to the point where we convince ourselves that we’re utterly useless in life.