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If you’ve ever fantasized of being in a French romance, it may be different than how you imagined. In terms of the progressive dating culture that exists today in the United States, dating us vs france in France is very much a traditional experience. The French remain eternally classic and old-fashioned in their manners like their dating norms,’ relationship expert Margaux Chetrit told INSIDER. To get a better grasp of the culture, we’ve compiled a list of the major differences between French and American dating.

Strangely enough, they actually don’t even have a word for ‘date’ in France. The closest equivalent for going on a date would be a ‘rendez-vous galant,’ translating to ‘appointment,’ according to Jennifer Seiter, a relationship therapist. But most French men would consider that term to be too old-fashioned, Seiter added. It’s a much more laid-back experience, different from American dating. Though not uncommon to be asked out by your waiter or your barista in the States, in France you would never ask someone out who you’ve known only for a few minutes, according to Seiter.

The French will only ask you out after they have gotten to know you very well, Seiter added. When you start to go out with someone in France, men and women act according to their traditional gender roles in courting and during the relationship much more so than Americans, Chetrit told INSIDER. Men are active and aggressive while women are passive players. French men are expected to pursue vigorously while the women are expected to act coy and blush at flirtation,’ Chetrit said. Although most Americans dread the ‘Where are we? That’s right, the first kiss seals the deal. The reason being that the French have the same phrase for ‘I like you’ and ‘I love you,’ which is ‘je t’aime.

There isn’t much of a difference between the two sentences in French so it’s not a big deal to say ‘I love you’ after a couple of weeks. The mentality in France, Seiter, is that if you are in fact seeing someone, then you should be able to see yourself marrying them. When I introduced my ex-boyfriend to my grandfather who is from France he asked him, ‘You want to marry her? And my ex, an American, looked at him like he was confused.